So, the appointment came and went. I had the first appointment of the day (8.45am) and arrived before both my psychiatrist and the receptionist, so had to wait outside. Once I got in I tried, haltingly, to explain that I had cut my dose down, increased it and then cut it down again since I last saw him a month ago. He looked a bit perturbed, especially when I said that I'd had to increase the dose because I couldn't deal with my co-workers looking at me. NB this made for rather a hard afternoon in the office which is open-plan. He told me that I should only stop taking the Risperidone if I have six months symptom-free, and that if I did stop taking it then I could get ill again. I said that I was worried about the toll another episode would take. Then he said that the thing to do was to focus on the here and now and not worry about what's going to happen or when I'll be able to come off the medication.
I don't find these appointments easy. I'm not sure why. Part of it is trying to speak to someone when your chair is facing the wall. Is this normal in shrinks' offices? I ended up getting rather fidgety, and I spent most of the appointment hunched up twisting my bangle round and round my wrist, then trying to pull it off over my hand. Hmmmm.
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I don't have the experience of facing the wall but that does sound incredibly unsettling. My psychiatrist sits facing me, but only about six or seven inches away, which freaks me out too.
ReplyDeleteI'm so fidgety in all my mental 'health' appointments too...even though I'm pathetically attached to the psychotherapist at least, I still dread each appointment and end up half losing it each time.
Good luck with finding the right dose of Risperidone. Take care x